User blog:That1Girl/Possibility of my Deactivation

Life is pretty hard right now. I mean it's good but it's not great. Everything is moving too fast and I'm just in the fog on what's happening. I can't go to this wiki- on the roleplaying wiki I was basically tortured, being told my tributes weren't good enough when I worked my ass off on them. I was also told that nobody trusted me there. That may be the case in real life as well because I cannot trust myself nor can I trust anyone around me. Everyone that I have ever trusted has broken the trust. Everything can be destroyed in seconds and that's basically how my trust was destroyed. Turns out those who I trusted the most ended up betraying me. I don't care if it was intended or not, the trust may be harder to build up.

Many of these users are the same ones that are on the roleplaying wiki. I am a major hunger games fangirl and it's hard knowing that the roleplaying wiki won't give me one more chance. Maybe if I had a chance...

No one has ever given me a chance. I had no chance to improve upon my actions, instead saying one thing caused this whole disaster to happen. I fantasize about what would have happened if I were never banned and it hurts to be here. I can't even talk to anyone here anymore because I know I'll be next to Isabelle. Oh and Sean in their eyes. I'm more than that. That wiki was my home and now I'm just on the streets, wishing I could go back to where my heart belongs.

I need to focus on real life a bit more. I have reduced the amount of time I've been on wiki, but my parents are now having all of my marks emailed to them as they have noticed a significant drop from my high grades since October (gee I wonder why). I can't focus on anything anymore, I'll just end up day-dreaming, doodling or writing instead of paying attention. I just may need to deactivate.

I also am being STALKED on the roleplaying wiki. Some guy far away from where I live claims to know where I live and what my real name is. This is very scary for me as I have no idea who they are and what if I knew them. Everyone seems to think it's me. It's not. I have no idea who that person is and WHY they would do that to me. I know they are trying to save my life, but I'd rather be dead than be known as someone who harasses people. I wish I could tell them to STOP EFFING HARASSING THE WIKI! They are ruining everything I had worked towards, and now I am just like Isabelle even though I don't know who they are. It's a major threat to me as I could get GLOBAL blocked over someone else's actions. I hope they know that they have taken it WAY too farther than it ever needed to go.

I can't write tributes anymore without thinking about how bad they are or about the wiki. I think deactivating might just be the solution to every thing here. I will never forget the amazing times I have been with you guys, the tears I shed, the times I laughed over stupid things. I would pay anything, even my own life to get those back.

even though  I'm the s   a   c</span  rif</span  i</ span   c</span  e you won't     try for me    not now</span