User blog:TheMysteriousGeek/Please tell me if this is good.....

I am going to write a story on this wikia and I would like an honest opinion.

The story.- Chapter one- The occerance
The First thing I saw as I got out of the school bus was a year eight girl being dragged into a white van.

I just stared at the white van. The girl was a one-in-ten, the super elite that rules the world. Max, my girlfriend, sits next to me on the bus and she keeps me from running to the van to stop it.

"Caine, don't." Max whispers, "We'll find out next year."

Of course, she knows that we are both one-in-tens as well.

As we got out of the bus, we saw her younger sister, sobbing. She is ok, but she hangs out with future one-in-tens, but not us. We don't want everyone to know our secret.

My mind drifts back, to Adam, my brother, last year, a white van came for him and my sister, Eve.

If they were here, they would be in year nine, the last year before they leave school. Then they would have been mining stone or all the run down jobs, because the super elite get the best jobs.

As we go, a line of white vans roll into the school gates, dragging unwilling children to their fates.......