User blog:ArleneLove'sTHG/Forever:5th book of The Hunger Games

FOREVR: 5th book of The Hunger Games

INFO ON BOOK:

Who can you trust during times like these? Annie visits Katniss and Peeta, along with her and Finnick's son. Altogether they bring Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, Effie, and Katniss and Peeta's children to District 13. Why though? They all don't know. But they will soon find out in the last book to the extended Hunger Games Trilogy   Series.

Chapter 1: Part 1
I'm in the water teaching Prim how to swim.

"Just keep kicking, okay? I won't let go of you until you have the hang of it." This is the way my father taught me. He alway told me to never stop kicking and to fight my way through things.

Things have been very well, dispite the fact that not even a year ago I lost so many people in my life. I'm glad that is behind me and that I have something else to focus on now. I've heard of news about Annie, Finnick's wife until he died, and her son. Both are doing very well. From what I was told, her son looks very much like Finnick.

I can't help but think back to them all while teacking Prim to swim. Prim soon gets the hang of kicking and I find her swimming away from me to the other side of the lake. I swim past her to the opposite side in a matter of seconds and catch her as she reaches me.

"Did you see me mommy?! I swam all the way across!" Even though the lake is small, I still have joy that she did indeed swim across.

"I did, dear. Want to try again?" In return I get an egar nod from her and she is off again. She learns quick and I can't wait to teach her to hunt when she is ready. "Hunt or paint." Peeta always tells me when I bring up huntingwith her. He believes she's a painter but we will find out in a few years when she is older. Or not, whatever I think is best for her.

I swim alongside Prim as she swims back and forth, backand forth. It's not long until she gets tired and we both walk up the muddy shore of the lake. Peeta walks outside and Prim runs to him and insticntively hugs him before walking inside.

"How was the lesson, love?" He gives me a small kiss. The kiss would have lasted longer if I kept myself from smiling at him. He has paint dotted on his arms and face.

"Perfect." I reply and take his hand in mine. Peeta has desided that the walls in the house are far too plane and anounced that he'll be painting a mural on the walls. He is staring in the one new room he and Hyamitch finished. I refused to let him paint the walls of the small cement room Silver made into a home. The first few days of him painting, he has me sit infront of him as he painted claiming that I was his 'muse'. After a while I caught ont hat he just wanted me at his side as he painted. I didn't mind much but I still rolled my eyes and set out to teach Prim to swim.

The Primroses, pictures, Silver's clock necklace, and my Mockingjay pin still rest in the same place on the window sill. Prim and Peeta have been gardening and planting more Primroses to be picked and put in the vase every so often to keep the old ones from dying.

Cina is entertaining himself with a dog I found while hunting. He was perfectly harmless and the kids just loved him so I agreed on them keeping him. Peeta was, of course, hesitent, but I said it would be perfectly fine. He was probably a housedog that wandered away from a district or got lost in the aftermath of all the bombings from when Snow formed his own little rebelion. Prim is at the baby's crib, playing with Silver.

"When are you killing dinner?" Peeta asks and looks out the window. I follow his gaze and see a squirl. I grab my bow from there and aim. Perfect shot, right in the eye.

It's after dinner now and Peeta is inside putting Prim and Cina to sleep in the new room of the house. I walk into the medow with my bow in hand, just in case something wrong happens. I hate to admit it but, I'm still paranoid around the games and even Snow and Coin. Still, it never hurt to be prepared for danger.

It's not a long walk until I meet my mother's grave and Silver's. I first go to my mother's gravestone and hold in a fe tears and I whisper to the grave. I whisper thinngs such as Prim learning to swim and how me and Peeta are doing well. How Silver is now making little gurgling noises when I talk to her like she understands. I whisper how I wish she was here to see her grandchildren grow up. "But everything must come to an end though, right?" I smile a little at my stupid pun. I sniffle and let loose a few tears. "Love you, mom."

I stand up and walk to Silver's grave. I kneel over that and do the same. I tell Silver about how I noticed a red strand of hair reflect off baby Silver's headand how I blieve and hope she has the same hair color as her. I always loved SIlver's hair color. Dark with a few red and dark gray strands that reflected from the sunlight at an angle. "Forever, Silver." Is what I had her gravestone read. It was the last thing she said to me. I stand and whisper, "Always." to her, the last thing I said to her. The wind answers me as I hold out my three fingers at both graves.

This was the routine every night after dinner for me. Peeta putting the kids to sleep, me leaving to talk to their never-leaving spirts.

I stand and walk beyond their graves, deeper in the forest. After a 15 minute walk, I meet Gale's grave. I look down at it from where I stand, three feet away. I have nothing to say to him. Nothing to say to his spirt--which also seems to never leave--or his body, 6 feet in the earth, maybe even deeper like where he belongs. He killed Silver and he killed my sister Prim. He hurt everyone I loved, he kidnapped my children, and he was apart of Snow and Coin's rebelion. What do I need to tell him, that he didn't already know when he died?

Instead I yell at his grave and fall to my knees, allowing my tear to come freely now. Not angry tears but sad tears. I'm sad that I lost one of my friends whom I have known since I was little. One of my friends who I would tell everything to, who I would hunt with, who took care of my family as I was fighting for my life. I lost a friend who I loved. And I lost him for reasons that I still don't understand.

Chapter 2
I stretch out in my bed. Last thing I remember from the night before was yelling in the forest the a distant memory of being carried home. I hate it when I fall asleep infront of Gale's grave. It feels wrong to even visit his grave, but I do miss him.

I walk down stairs relived that I had a rare, dreamless sleep. I smell eggs cooking and hear meat popping and sizzling on the stove downstairs. The aroma meets my nose and I smile because this food is the food I've grown up eatting. It's not the old capital food at all.

"Morning, love." Peeta smiles at me and wraps an arm around my waist before he plants a kiss on my forehead. I return the kiss and walk to the small table we wat at.Peeta follows and sets the food on the table for us. Prim and Cinna are outside the window with Haymitch and Effie.

"You know..." I poke the yolk and let it drain over my baccon. "I haven't seen Effie leave Haymitch's side for a while now."

Peeta smiles, "Yeah, I noticed the same thing." he says in a mouthfull of food. Being outside in the winderness has on fluenced him to loose a few mannors from his childhood.

We both look out the window and see the kids run infront of Haymitch. Effie looks up and smiles at Haymitch. She would normally be his height or taller with her old capitol heels, but nowadays she's been wearing the usual flats  which stilll look as vibrent as her heels. Haymitch puts an arm around Effie's small waist and pulls her a little closer.

I let out a small laugh and Haymitch's gaze breaks away from Effie to me and Peeta craning our necks to see better. Peeta smiles and nods and I wave and mouth 'hi'. Effie and Haymitch break away and look anywhere but at us or eachother. My laugh echos freely now.

"Busted!" I sing to no one in particular.

"Like two teens caught kissing..." Peeta smiles and looks at me remembering our kiss in the cave. We were caught kissing by all of Panem. I half hope that I wore my usual pajama's rather than Peeta's oversized shirt. He probably sliped anything on me so that I was comfortable in my sleep.

Haymitch and Effie follow the kids without being near each other like before. Effie's eyes are stuck to the floor, but Haymitch steals a few glaces at her. Who would have ever thought these two, of all people, would like each other? Hell, I sure didn't, esspecially from the first day Haymitch fell off the Reaping Stage and Effie looked at him like a pig! I supose anything is possible when you think about it. Silver begins to cry breaking me and Peeta out of our haze. I'm about to get up when Peeta tells me to sit down since he was going to get up anyway to get something. I sit down and eat my breakfast. Peeta's limp is gone for the most part. He still has a noticable limp when he runs but that is just about it. And he is still strong. He cares me from Gale's grave to our home every night. I don't know how, but he always manages too.

Peeta returns holding Silver and a box.

"Happy Anniversary, Katniss Everdeen."

"What?"

"Today was the day of the Reaping when we went into the games."

"God, those felt centurys ago..." I whisper holding the box in my hands.

"They will be soon enough." Peeta says, matter-of-factly. I look up and smile at him, not wanting to ruin the wrapping. "Open it."

I remove each fold slowly with out tearing the paper. I lay the paper carefully on the table and open the metal box, painted like the forest I love. I breath gets stuck in my throat as I look inside the box. There is a wooden mockingjay in the middle that is spining with The Hanging Tree playing. The walls on the music box are painted like miniature versions of the paintings Peeta did on the train ride back to the Captiol. One wall is me and his kissing, the other is of my on the floor with a bloody forehead. Another all is of my spining in my wedding dress with the bottem half in flames with a few mockingjay feather pecking through. The last wall is on us all as a family.

"It took a few year to make but, I think it's worth it." I'm speachless. I close my eyes and hear my father's voice sing this song to me. The song is over now and then I hear a small 'click'. I open my eyes and Peeta lifts the mockingjay. Inside is a small space, big enough to fit my fist. He pulls out a dreamcatcher made with Mockingjay feathers.

"It's for your nightmares. I thought of it after you woke me up yelling bloody murder." He gives a small laugh.

I hold it out infront of me. It twirls on it's own, allowing me to see it at all angels. Twigs are bent around a ring and the web is clearly made from the katniss roots that grow alongside the pond outside. I can recognize them any where, even when formed into a web on a dreamcatcher. Old, threading, twine dangles from the hoop, keeping the wooden beads and mockingjay feathers from leaving the web of nightmares.

I find it fiting in many ways. 1) I was the mockingjay. 2) I am still apart of a few nightmares, like the twine holding the feathers. And 3) I am and will alwas be intwined in nightmares like the katniss roots.

"So... how do you like it?" Peeta brings me out of my state of wonder. He looks almost frightened. He might think I hate it or that I want to kill something right now. Without hesitation I push the box seperating us and hug him around his neck. He nuzzles my neck and his arms wrap around my waist. I breath in his familiar sent and pull him closer.

Nothing can take this moment away from me, ever.

I remember thinking this same thought when I was with Gale. Then the 74th Hunger Games arrived... then the Quater Quell... then the rebelion... and then the fight. This time I am positive of this. Nothing will take this away.

Peeta kisses my neck, slowly making his way to my ear, and back down to my shoulder. His lips slowly meets my jaw line then our lips brush against each other. It's hard to imagine that I used to want to kill him back in The Hunger Games and how I attempted to choke him when he claimed his love for me after his interveiw.

He pulls back a little and looks in my eyes. He looks behind me and cranes his neck to look out the window. I don't care to look behind me. I just stare into his eyes. After a few seconds he looks back into my eyes and smiles. I smile back and he pulls my braid loose.

Chapter 3
I lay down on the floor eatting the rest of my food as Peeta returns with two bags in tow.

"Umm... are we going somewhere?" I could almost laugh at this. There is no where to go here! I roll over in my stomache and pull my hair to the side to rebraid it as I chew the last of my food.

"We are actully." He looks behind me at the door. I has a faint, but familiar sound of wind and engine. I stand up imediatly and open the door to find Haymitch and Effie trying to hold Prim back. I run outside and cover her's and Cinna's faces from the flying dirt and twigs every where. My half finished braid comes loose with the wind and I have the strange sense of deja` vu` from when Gale and I had ran into a hovercraft that was capturing two esacpes, the red head girl I has as a servent and a guy around her age, who was probably her brother. She was captured in a net and brought up to the sky while he was stabed and hauled up.

My hair pokes my eyes, but I leave it be. It's too difficult protecting my children from breathing in dirt when I try to move my hair from my eyes to see. It's useless because of the dirt anyway. Peeta comes with a jacket and covers us all.

The hovercraft door opens just before it lands. I hear it before I see it, so I lift up my head and squint to get a better look at who has come to see us. I'm still terified of everything the capitol once owned.

There are two figures there. One is a hunched over woman holding the hand of someone else. I can't tell who he is but his features look strong. I can see the slight curve of muscle from under his shirt and his stance shows that he is ready for anything.

Small ripples of water bounce the reflection of the sun onto the man. I stand up and tuck my hair behind my ear. I slowly make my way to him, still not believeing my eyes.

"Finnick?" My legs, hands, and face has small sratches and cuts, leaving a slight stinging all over my body. Peeta's shirt did no good to cover me from everything that was flying in the wind.

The hovercraft lands and I know for sure that it's him. It's Finnick. His messy blond hair and his sea blue-green eyes can be seen from where I stand.

"Finnick!" I yell more sure of myself. I see him head turn towards me. He stumbles back a few steps with confusion in his eyes. I run tohim and throw my arms around him. "I can't bielieve your alive!" I practicly holdmy breath as the memories flood in my mind. ''Our ambush by those lizard muts in the sewer. Finnick's scream as we locked him in there with a few others. Us going back to District 13 to tell Annie. The pain in my heart on loosing a friend.'' I know that pain far too well.

The memory of Annie brings me to look at the lady next to Finnick.

"Annie?" I stumble back and look at Finnick. Something is different in his facial features. He has different shapped eyes and his nose is different. His face looks morphaed with Annies...

"Wait... wha-" Bam! His fist meets my face and as i hold it, fully exposing my stomache, he throws another hit to my gut. Peeta comes in a hits him squarein the jaw, sending Finnick stumbling backafew steps. Only, it's not Finnick. It's not him.

I whisperthis to myself, as if I can't wrap it around my mind. Annie and Haymitch hold him back as I hold Peeta back from hitting him again. Effie hides the kids behind her, away from harm. Peeta wraps an arm around my waist and trys not to hurt the bruse that is forming on my cheek bone.

"He's not Finnick." I whisper again. "He's not him. It can't be..."

"What? Katniss, what is it? Is he apart of Snow's side?"

"No! No, Peeta. No he;s not.."

"Then who is he? Katniss?"

"It's his son."

"So letme get this stright: you hit my wife because she left your father with those mutts?" Peeta isn't letting Triton, Finnick and Annie's son, down easy for hitting me. We're in he kitchen with ice on my cheek and tea and cookies in front of us. Triton leans againt the counter and picks at the crumbes off the cookie and tosses them on the floor.

"She left my dad there. She left him behind!"

"You weren't even alive, son!" Haymitch joins in now. Effie puts her hand over his and it seems to calm him down a notch. He's breathing heavy but not yelling anymore.

"Look you guys. Jus-just let him be." I can't look at him without thinkingof Finnick. I wonder how Annie survived this long without breaking down at the sight of her son. I look over at Annie and she hardly looks like she's holding up well. Her mouth is set in a frown and hereyes don;t settle on anything longer than a second, especially on Triton.

I build up the courage to look at Triton to see his eyes settles on Annie. His eyebrows are knit together in worry. Unlike Annie, he's calm and put together like his father. For the breifest second, he looks into my eyes. I imediatly drop my gaze but not quick enough.

''We're all on the beach in the Quarter Quell. Someone sent us cream to treat the burns from the toxic fog. Finnick screams at how hideous we look andhow he would never put it on. In the end we all look the same.''

The memory seemed funny back then. Right now it just pulls at my heart. I pull it together and sit up strighter with my chin up higher. I look over to Effie and she nodds in aproval. I turn around to Triton to find him staring dagers into my soul.

"So what did happen down there?" His voice is barely a whisper but it feels like he punched me in the face again. Even his voice sounds like Finnick's.

I squeeze my eyes shut and take slow, steady breaths. "We were running away from them. The lizard-human mutations. They got a few of us but some made it out in time." I wrap both hands around the small cup and feel it's warmth on my fingers, reminding me that I'm alive. "I tried to help but-but they wouldn't allow me. I did what I could to end his screaming...his pain." I pick up the cup sending droplets of tea raining down my hand. Peeta sits next to meand pulls me close. We almost lost him too.

"So you did kill him?" The truth brings a dam of tears to his eyes. Annie seems lost in her own reality.

"I blew them all up. Everything and everyone down there. I said 'Nightlock, nightlock, nightlock.' And that did it." Triton's dam of tears break, sending them down his face. He looks away and wips the tearswith the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry." Is all I'm able to get out through the golfball lump in my throat. Annie looks at us confused and asks, "What happened?"

Triton wips off every trace of tears off his face, leaving his face red. He kneels next to her and takes her hand and just stays there taking in the confort of his mother. She still doesn't understand.

Chapter 4
"What are they doing here, Peeta? I know that he just didn't come here to ask about Finnick." Triton is outside skipping rocks with Prim and Annie and Cinna are picking wildflowers from the edge of the forest.

"We're going to visit District 13. I thought that it would be nice to check on Gale's family." He looks at me, waiting for a reaction. I keep my eyes down and my hand busy.

"Why would you think that?"

"Katniss-"

"No, Peeta. Why would you think that? Tell me."

"You know that you still wonder about them. I know you do."

"H-"

"You forget that you talk in your sleep, sometimes." answers Peeta. I didn't need to finish my 'how?" question. We've been together long enough forhim to predict my sentences. Thoughtout this whole converation, he hasn't removed his eyes from my face.

"Katniss..." Peeta sings my name. I keep my head down by bring my eyes up to him. "Don't you dare make me sing to cheer you u-up!?"

"Oh God.." I say undermy breath and shake my head. Peeta stands and starts singing an up beat version of The Valley Song. He begins dancing and snapping his fingers. I get up, shaking my head and trying not to laugh. He grabs my hand and spins me until I'm so dizy, I can't tell the difference between the window and the kitchen cabnets. He brings my down in dip and rests his forehead on mine.Silver begins crying and I push Peeta off of me.

"Leaving so soon, sweet heart?" Peeta mimicks Haymitch's voice. I hit him on the chest playfully.

"You made Silver cry." I practicly laugh.

"Nah. I take it as an encoure!" I cover his mouth with my hand before he begins to sing again. Peeta kisses the inside of my palm then lets me go. I shake myhead and smile. I pickup Cinna and Prim's toys and I walk to the next room. I set the toys against the wall and take the few steps to Silver's crib. My heart stops and I feel my stupid smile fall. I spin in a circle, serching the room for a sign of anyone.

Nothing.

"Peeta!"

No answer. I feel my heart race in my chest.

"Peeta?!"

I run to the kitchen to find it empty. I push through the door. The fresh air does nothingto calm me.

"Pe...eta..." Triton is standing in the lake holding Silver in his arms. He sways with her, dips her back deep in the water then pulls her up getting a few short laughs from her. I roll my pant legs up to the knees and dip my feet in the water.

"Your daughter is a very good swimmer." Triton nods at Prim who blushes.

"Thanks. Taught her myself this morning." I wave a leaf infront of Silver's face. Her short arms reach out to the sky.

"Your wonder why I have her, huh?" Silver grabs the leave then skims her armsover the water.

"I'm wondering a lot of things, Triton."

"Well," He sways Silver. "You and Peeta seemed a tad busy so I thought I'd take Silver out of your hair for a while." Triton dips Silver again, sending her arms to get completely submerged under water. Silver busrts into a fit of giggles. The small marbled moon shapped scar on Triton's cheek wrinkles when he smiles. "This one'll be a a good swimmer, too when she learns to float."

"Where is Peeta?"

"I don't know..." He dips Silver in the water again. I skim the water and don't see Prim either.

"Where's Prim?" Triton looks at me with a blank stare. "Triton! Where the hell is she?!" He glances the surface ofte water and his eyes grow wide. I stand and let my soaking feet form puddles of mud under my feet.

"Prim?!" I call out, circling the small lake.

"She--she was here a few seconds ago...she sawm under--"

"She went under the water? For how long, Triton?!"

"I don't know. She's been under since you came here." I see bubles rise in the surface and blonde hair float to the top. I dive in the water, head first. I hit my head on a rock at the very bottem of the lake. The water is foggy and stings my eyes and cut. I keep kicking and focus on keeping my eyes open. Afew seconds later, the stinging ofthe water wins and I ecentully close my eyes. I swim with my hands waving infront of my. My hand meets the arm of someone. I open my eyes and see that it is Prim, her eyes squeezed shut.

I try to swim up but my clothes weigh me down. I scissor my legs and wave my hand but nothing works. I'm running out of breath and Prim's face relaxes a little. I hold onto Prim tightly, ready to swim down to kick off the floor, when someone grips my wrist. I open my eyes and see a blury figure infront of me. The only thing that stands out most--the only thing that I will always know in deail, even with my eyesclosed--ishis eyes and hair.

Peeta!  I want to scream out my butlungs arealready burning. The hand moves down my arm and grips my waist. I stop moving my muscles and feel myself grow heavy. I open my eyes and see him look at me, bubble rising ot of his mouth. He swims up, pulling me and Prim with him.

I close my eyes and feel cold air fill my lungs. My eyes shoot open and I see Triton next to me, swimming with one hand and he keepshis over hand wraped around both me and Prim. I look across the lake and see Peeta kneeling over the water, reaching for us. Triton passes a still Prim to Peeta. I stare into Prim's rexaled face and pushes Triton away from me. I try to swim to Prim, who is being passed to Haymitch and set on the floor on her back. Her hand is still at her side.

My clothes weigh me down and I strugle to stay afloat. I swollow gulps of water instead of air and my fist hit's Triton's face insead of the water. My muscles give in and I stop fighting Triton. He swims me to shore and helps me up. I fall on my back and stay there with my eyes closed.

"She--she's not breathing!" I hear Peeta yell. I try to open my eyes but they don't move. I feel numb all over.

"You help--you won't hurt--stay ca--" I hear Triton's voice shout orders to Peeta. A ringing in my ears making hard to focus.

"Shh--what do I--I don't wan to hu--" Peeta's voice answers back franticly.

"Haymitch, put them inside--no--1, 2--oh God,please--" I hear their voices morph together into complete nonsense. I hear mumbling then nothing at all. I feel my heart thump slow in my chest. A few seconds later of feeling at rest, I feel a second heart beat.

No. not asecond heart beat. But hand pushing under the spot right below my heart and right above my lungs. The hands push after every single heart beat. The 1-2-3 beat of their hands and the beat of my heart soon become one and they breath air into my lungs.

''1-2-3, breath. 1-2-3, breath.''

I hear in a voice in the distance.

''1-2-3, breath. 1-2-3, breath. C'mon....please!''

1-2-3, breath.

I move my eyes under my eye lids for a few soconds. I push all my strengh into opening my eyes. With what little strength I have, I open my eyes and turn to my side. Water spills out of my mouth.

I fall on my back again and see Haymitch and Effie holding Cinna in the doorway and Annie rocking Silver inside, by the window. Effie covers her mouth and I look over to Prim.

"Prim!" I grab hold of her hand and stare at her in horror. Her face is pale, her wet blondehair is fanned around her head, her legs are brused, as well as her arms. "Wha--is she--is she dead?" I turn to Peeta whose eyes are wet and red. Triton avoids my gaze completely. I turn back around and franticly try to find a pulse. After what seemed like forever, I feel a small, slow beating.

"She's alive!"

Chapter 5
Prim lays asleep in her bed, mumbling ever so often. Triton and Annie are at the kitchen table drinking tea with Peeta. Silver is sleeping in the crib near the kitchen. Cinna is sound asleep at the bed across the room. I sit in Prim and Cinna's room and listen to Prim's mumblings.

She mumbles about a man by the water. A man who pulled her down. She mumbles about a hole in the sky and of a grave, hidden behind the house. There's also a sound inbetween her sentences. An "L" noise. She tosses and turns in her sleep and being thrashing around mumbling louder and louder and louder, up to the point where it sounds like she is speaking complete words to me. I walk next to her bed, about to wake her up, when I see a silhouette in the doorway.

I stand up strait and stare at the spot where I believe their face is.

"Ahem..." they clear their throat and bring their candel up to their face. Triton has his head down but his eyes on me. A small smile forms and he looks so innocent. "I'm sorry to disturb you but, I just wanted to pay a visit to Prim..." I harden my stare at him and squint my eyes.

My gut tells me to not trust him but my brain tells me that I should. He punched me when we first met, but then he brought Prim back to life. He seemed a bit off at the lake when he had Silver, but he  saved me from drowning. He came from nowhere, and still hasn't explained why he's here. Then again, he is the son of Finnick and Annie, two people who were madly in love and who I trusted during the rebelion.

"She's asleep."

"Looks like she's having a nightmare." He steps forward, head held high. His stance gives off a don't-mess-with-me feel. His arms are folded across his chest and he sets the candel on the desk.

He changes his mood quickly, soft and kind on moment then the next intimidating and, I'll admit it, quite frightning. He is also gentel when he is in a good mood. I've seen the way he cares for Annie when she drifts off into her own world.

"I know. I was just about to wake her." I take my gaze off himm and focus on Prim. I go down on my knees and rub the hair out of her face. She starts talking is complete sentence but fade outs near the end.

"She'll be in pain then." Triton picks upthe candel and begings lighting the lantern on her nightstand. I inch my finger under her bed, closer and closer to the bow and arrows I have hidden, just in case he trys something. "It's better for her to dream of something she might not remember when she wakes up, rather than feel like someone is using her whole body as a punching bag," He looksup at me, shadows under his eyes. He whispers, "Don't you think Katniss-ss-ss...?"

The way he said my name makes me fall backward. Suddenly, it's hard to breath and I stand up. I run out of the room. I hit my shoulder on the way out. His voice echos in my mind like a broken recordstuck on a constant replay. ''Katniss-ss-ss. Katniss-ss-ss. Katniss-ss-niss. Katniss-niss. Katniss...niss...niss...niss. Katniss...niss...niss...niss.''

I run to the kitchen and grab Peeta.

"Peeta! It's him."

"What do you mean, Katniss? How is it 'him'?"

"The voice I heard when I was in the room with all the roses! It was him. I know it was!"

"Katniss, slow down. What room with roses? Your not making any sense." He looks at me, almost scared to even hold me.

"Yes! The way he said my name. It--it echoed the same exact way." He blinks a few times and stares at me indisbelief. I look at Annie. She's in herown world again. "I'm not going crazy, Peeta. I know what I'm talking about."

"Katniss, love. Have a seat and drink some tea, okay? You almost drowned today..."

"Oh my god. You--" I stop midsentece when something else hits my mind. "I left him in there with the kids."

"Wah?--Katniss!" Peeta calls out after me, making Silver cry. He doubles back a few times after desiding to go to Silver first.

I peak my head in he room and see him whisper things to Prim. She nods and he bends over to pick up something. No. My arrows! I sit there, crouched  behind the doorway helpless. It makes sense now. The man by the lake, the one Prim was  mumbling about...it had to have been Triton! He was the onlyone, besides Peeta who left because he saw a lynx creeping around the house and desided to scare it off.

I crawl to the small cabnet and grab the knife that I hid under one of the shelfs. I go back to Prim and Cinna's room, knife held by my side, and walk slowly to Triton. He is still digging under the bed and Prim has her eyes closed, but her eyes are moving under her eye lids. I raise the knife high, about to strike, when Triton comes up again with a tedy bear.

"Here you go, Prim."

"Tha..." Prim mumbles.

"Katniss, no!"

Peeta runs inside the room as I drop the knife with a thud. Triton turns, sees the knife and looks at me in disbelief. His eyes widden and he whispers, "Katniss...niss...niss...niss?" That whisper. That creepy human from the small wakie-talke in Snow's room of roses. I squeeze my eyes shut and I walk back a few steps and into Peeta's arms. I can't tell if he is hugging me or holding me back. Prim's eyes look watery and Cinna is crawling toward Prim's bed, afraid of...me.

"Oh god, Peeta," I turn and hide my face in his chest. "I've become insane."

Peeta shushes me and pets my head, almost reluctantly. "Shh, no you haven't." I look up into his eyes to see if he's really serious. He gives me a half smile. "You've just become..." He pauses to find the right word. I begin to wonder if he's going to agree that I'm insane and that he should abandon me in the middle of nowhere with two broken legs and a dull knife. Or maybe he is just trying to find the best way to descibe the way I've become: one of thoughs who allowed their children to see death out of enjoment, like in The Annual Huner Games.

Nah, he wouldn't leave me.

But, Triton would leave me in the forest with nothing but a dull knif and broken legs.

''Damn, it! ''These insane thoughts against him will never leave my mind. I will never deside whether ot not I should trust him. All the good and all the bad about him even up.

"Paranoid?" Peeta finishes. I know that he's unsure whether this is a right thing to say to me or not. But, I still can't tell if it is out of fear of what I will do next or if he wants to be the joking husband he's always been.

"Yeah," I nodd, agreeing with him. "Paranoid is the perfect way to explain it." Cinna and Prim are shivering and hiding under the blanket while Triton is standing up tall and his head high showing no fear. Silver is crying in the door way where she is being held by Annie. Prim pulls a hand out from under the blanket and reaches for Triton's. He looks down and squeezes her hand in reaurence that everything will be just fine.

I shake my head in disbelief, tears brimming the corner of my eyes. Peeta sees what I see and walks me outside the room.

"I think it best if you go and have some rest."

"N-n-no. No, I cam't. I won't."

"Then have some tea to calm you down, okay. It's been a long day." He stops in the middle of the hall and holds my hands. Histhumbs tracemyfingers and he looks into my eyes. I nod and he kissed the top of my head.

In the kitchen I hide my face in my hands. Peeta sets the tea infront of my and outshis hand on my knee as he kneels down to look at me better. "Drink, love."

The tea has a slight tang to it, but a sweetness all over. Within seconds I feel my eyes bluring as I fade into sleep. Peeta rubs my back and the last thing I hear is, "I'm sorry."

Chapter 6
I see white behind my heavy eyelids. There's a ringing in my ears and the feeling of silk under me. Silk? I don't own anything silk... I pull all my strength together and will my eyes to open. I'm in a room with nothing but a bed and an electric sliding door. I take a double take at the door then at the room again. I run up to the door and press my ear against its cold metal. The only noise that I’m able to make out is the continuous hum of the hovercraft’s engine.

The door open and I fall forward in front of a cart, full of luxurious foods. I look up at the person who rolled in the cart and I can tell that something is wrong. They bow and leave. Never turning back. Never saying a word. My heart breaks inside as I read the folded note under the plate of pancakes with fresh fruit forming into a smiley face. I eat a blueberry eye and flip the strawberry slice upside down, in a frown. “Enjoy.” Is all it reads. I roll my eyes and toss the note back on the tray. The blueberry explodes into a bunch of flavors, leaving me to want more. I snack on the fruits as I change the pancakes expressions. I bite a section of its forehead off and change the mouth into two orange peels turned inward at each other to form a small O. I pop the strawberry in my mouth as the door slides open then shut again a second later. “Peeta..." I push the cart away from me and let it roll until it hits the wall. Peeta sits on my bed next to me and wraps me in a hug. My arms stay slack on my sides. His hug feels too comforting.

"Peeta? What are we doing here?"

"We're going to District 13." He amswers with a smile. "You can see how great everything is going there, and see Gale's family, and--"

"No."

"No? What do you mean 'no'?"

"No, I don't want to go to District 13, Peeta! This doesn't feel right."

"I could take you to a different room so you can be more comfortable." He stands and puts his hand in mine.

I pull my hand out of his. "That is the problem, Peeta! I don't feel comfortable! If I did, then I would know everything will be fine!"

"Everything is fine, Katniss."

"No, Peeta! It's not. It's not  fine. Something is wrong. I don't trust any of them!"

"Going to District 13 will help you see that everything is fine. That Panem is fine. That there is no fightings and no starving! Then people aren't dying for others entertainment."

"You don't know that! We've been isolated for years, Peeta! How did Triton and Annie find us? No one knows that we are at the cabin by the lake!"

Peeta pauses for a second and thinks. "Gale might've known about it. He did come there, before."

"Not before he killed my mother and Silver!"

"He must've known in order to come. Silver knew, too."

"If Gale and Silver knew about the cabin then that means that he must've told Triton." Peeta nods. "Gale was working for Coin and Snow, so that means, Triton might be, too!"

"God, Katniss! You're still paranoid! Nothing is going to happen!" His eyes grow wide.

"I don't trust them!"

"You trust noboday! This--this rebelion stuff is getting to your head! There is nothing to rebel about! You are not the mockingjay anymore.That mutated bird is just an animal now and nothing more."

"I don't believe you. And I still don't trust them."

"So?! Do you not trust me anymore, either?!" I stare up at him, not giving off any emotion. "You can trust them, Katniss! They are not doing anything wrong! District 13 is healthy and safe and so is every other district across Panem!"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" My voice echos off the walls.

"Trust them, Katniss!" His face becomes tomato red. "We are going to District 13! It's not like in the games where I didn't trust y--..." Peeta breaths heavyly. He runs his fingers through his hair and kicks the bed post.

I turn my head away from him, as if I've just been slapped in the face. My mouth is gaped open andI feel my eyes water.

Was he just about to say he didn't trust me? I didn't trust him in the games, but I learned to trust him. Did he learn to trust me, too, or did he always not trust me? I thought he was just acting in the games about how he liked me in order for him to survive. Was he also just acting like he trusted me?

Peeta looks back at me then storms out the door, his hands in fists at his sides. A second before the door closes I hear a loud thump noise and Peeta yell out in pain. I sit, unaffect by his screams. The door closes, shutting out all noises of outside the room.

~

I feel as if I died and came back to life.

Then died again.

Then stayed dead.

I feel like I'm going to to the Captial to be the Mockingjay that I am apparently not. Why didn't Peeta ever tell me this before? What else have he not told me? Does he even love me? Did he ever love me? I was there with him when his leg was infected. I was there for him when he went insane and wanted to kill me. And I didn't kill him when Bogs wanted me too.

He was always there, too. He practicly saved me in the games more han I saved him. I didn't even save him. He had the mind to trick people into thinking he was with them, like with the carreers. Did he trick me, too?

No. No, I can't be thinking like this. Peeta is my husband. He saved me and my family when we were starving. He burned the bread for me. He fought when he  was weak and I know that somewhere inside of him, he will do it again and again. And he would do it all for me.

When my worst nightmares came true the night Gale came and almost killed my family, Peeta was there for the kids when I couldn't be. Peeta killed Gale when I was too shocked by Silver's death to move away from Gale's gun.

"Maybe going to District 13 would be good for me."

"It may be not."

I sit up in my bed and pull out the knife that I got from thebreakfast try from under my pillow.

"You might need that for what's going to happen." Triton stands a few feet away from me. "But not right now."

"When did you get there?" I don't lower the knife.

"It doesn't matter." He tosses a dress to me and I catch it with my free hand. "Put that on and meet  us in the dinning room."

He leaves without another word. His eyes look sad and the scar in his left cheek looks even more marbled and shiny from what seems to be tears. The door closes and I'm left alone once again.

Chapter 7
The dress is white with a shimery red and gold trim at the bottem, which snakes it's way up the dress in a thin, firery pattern. I walk to the dinning room in a pair of red and gold strappy heels that were sitting in front of my door. The dinning room looks like the one on the train. I walk to the chair next to Peeta when the hovercraft jolts to the right, sending me stumbling.

"Oh, darm train tracks. They get worse and worse the closer we get to the district!" Effie exclaims. Her hair is not her hair. It's one of herwigs that she once wore. Her dress is wild and so is her make-up. I stare at Effie in confusion.

"I know. I liked her better when she didn't look like a wild unicorn." Haymitch whipsers loudly to me. He grabs Effie's hand and smiles at her.

I ignore his comment. "We're on a train?" I ask Peeta. He stays looking down at his food and nods once. I turn to Triton, who begins entering the room in a white button up witht the top buttons open. He holds Annie's handas he guides her to her seat.

"Why are we on a train?"

"It's one of the many new transportation devices created for District 13." Triton answers just as the food floods out of the doors. "We've built moretracks and upgraded the old ones." The train car jolts again anf sends Peeta's wine spilling over my lamb stew. "They"re still being worked on." Triton shrugs and tosses a napkin to Peeta.

Peeta grabs it and helps dab at the tablecloth. His hand is wrapped in white gauze and is dotted with either bloodor the wine. 3 attendents in white button ups come and clean the area in a split second.

Peeta looks at me, his  hand, then stands up to leave. I throw my napkin over the mess for the attendents to clean and follow Peeta. He enters a small hallway where me and him are being knocked back and forth from the moving tracks.

"Peeta!" He runs and enters a room, turning to make sure thedoor closes. I throw myself into the door right before it locks shut. "Open the door! Please, Peeta!" I pound on the metel door. "I'm sorry..." I don't know what I'm sorry about, really. Maybe the fact that I didn;t trut him either once or maybe for the hard times I gave him throughout our years in and out of the games. I cared for him even tthough I didn't show it very well.

I just can't seeme without him in my life, now. We both saved each other even when we had nothing or no one.

I stand up to go lock myself in my own room when something grabs hold of me and pulls me back to his room.

My face meets the cold hard metal and I fall on the floor again. I look atthe door and see that my dress hem is caught in it. I scream in fustration as I sit there and allow myself to hit the walls and the door freely by the moving train.

~

"Katniss!" My eyes shoot open and stare at the fogy figure in bright colors and a giant wig--which looks like it hardly fits in the hallway--walking toward me. "What are you doing on the floor? Get up, get up."

"Effie?" My vision becomes clear and I see her in a different oufit. "How long was I asleep?"

"A while now."

"When did you change?"

"Oh, Triton and Annie gave them to me! They brought them back from District 13."

"W-what are you talking about?" I look around and see my bedroom walls. Not the walls of my room on the train, but my walls of my room in my home. Mine and Peeta's home, of course. My childhood home is long gone from what I'm told.

"I-I thought we were..." A dream. Yes, that's it. It was all just a nightmare like the ones I had before. "I hope this one doesn't come true." I mumble to myself.

"Hmm? What was that?"

"Nothing, Effie. What is it that you wanted?"

"I thought I should check on you. From what I saw in the games, that sweet syrup that you used on Peeta to make him sleep left him well rested but he slept for a while." Peeta gave me the syrup?! "I just wanted to make sure you were still alive, which you are. I came in and you were  mumbling about all these strange things."

"Like what?" I don't want anything from my nightmare to be shared with anyone.

"Like strange things. Now, come one. Triton and Annie have a suprise for you too!"

I follow Effie into the sitting room where everyone is sitting, holding onto their new gifts. Prim has an art set, Cinna holds a small whiteball with red stitches, Effie has her clothes, and Haymitch is downing a bottle of whiskey witha red bow on it. Peeta sits empty handed.

Annie looks up and says, "Katniss," Peeta turns and smiles at me, not mad at all. "Glad for you to join us at last."

"Glad to see you wake, love." Peeta wraps his arm through mine and guidesme to the seat he was just sitting at. He whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry, I drugged you."

"No, don't be. Think of it as pay back for me drugging you..." I whisper back in a toneless voice. He doesn't catch my referance from he train. It really must've been a dream then.

I sit on the arm rest of Peeta's chair. One of his hands rest lightly at my waist while the other one, free of gauze, is holding my hand.

"This is for you." Triton avoids eye contact with me. He hand me a white box held together by red ribbon and a perfectly made bow. Unravling the bow hurts because it looked too perfect to ruin. I remove the lid and stare at the white dress with a shimery red and gold trim that makes it's way up the dress.

"Wow..." I hold it up to my body. It's a tad shorter than the one in my dream. This dress reached my knees whereas theother dress reached my mid-calf.

"Do you like it?" Triton meets my eyes for once.

"Y-yes. I do." He nodds and looks back down at his hands. "I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

A small smile forms at his lips. "Apology accepted."

I fold the dress back in the box. My bow looks like a goat ate the ribbon the spit it out after it got digested. "Why didn't you get anything, Peeta?"

"Actully, Peeta wanted to give something to you instead." Triton answers for him.

Peeta nods, agreeing. "Triton helped with it though."

"Oh. Well what is it?" ''Please don't be District 13. Please don't let it be District 13."''

Peeta and Triton share a glance. Haymitch looks at Efiie then chugs down more whiskey. Prim and Cinna are showing Silver their gifts. Annie is off in her own world.

Peeta squeezes my hand and smiles, "A trip."

Chapter 8
The hovercraft landed softly on the rough ground. Peeta pushes me toward the open door of the hovercraft. I force a smile on my face and walk inside. Prim and Cinna already ran ahead to get a personsl tour from Triton. Prim just adores him.

"Are you sure you want to do this."

"Of Course.." I lie. I don't want to go to District 13, especially if the trip will be like the one in my dream. We stay on the hovercraft for a few hours. Majority of that time I', either sleeping or acting like I'm sleeping. Peeta comes into my room after the hovercraft engine dies. He carries me outside. The fresh air stings my lungs after breathing in the stuffy air from thehovercraft. Part of me wants to just open my eyes and run far away.

I know I won't get far before I turn around.

I take a deep breath, savoring this one last breath of oxygen before we enter the train. The air reminds me too much of the medow surrounding District 12. I open one eye and see the train doors open. I look up at the sky. It even looks the same. Only less bright and less like home.

I close my eyes after Peeta says something to me. I think it was important. I don't catch what he says before I close my eyes again and dream again.

~

I feel a falling sensation and wake up in cold sweat after being thrown out of my bed from the moving train.

"Hey, are you okay?" The train door open and Triton enters with a silver plater of food. He sets it down on the floor as I throw upon infront of me. When I finish puking, Triton take a towel and set it over my vomit. "I'm suresomeone will pick that up." He smiles a little.

"Yeah..." I sit up against my bed and set my elbows on my knees. I hide my face in my hands and relize I'm crying.

Triton lowers him head but keeps his eyes up at me."Nightmare?"

I nod.

"Want to...talk about it?" He shrugs.

"It was the 74th Hunger Games. It was Rue's death..." I choke out. Triton just nods, urging me to go on. "She screamed my name and I ran to her. She was trapped and when I helped her," I lookaway and feel more tear escape. Triton still urges me to talk. "She stood up and go shot." At this point, I break into a total mess. Triton freezes for a second then hugs me.

I hear a small noise then a quick second where I feel empty. Another pair of arms holds me. "Shh..."

"Peeta," I sob, "She was Silver. It was Rue, then it was Silver, and..." I trail off as Peeta rocks me back and forth. Out of my tear-blured vision, I see Triton stand in the door way looking dead inside himself. He looks down at his feet then leaves me and Peeta.

Chapter 9
I have reached misery. I board off the train in the white dress, my hand entwined in Peeta's. The train was nothing like my dream. I still wonder if he really trusted me...or rusts me, in present tense. The train leaves and I take my first look of District 13. I stop breathing and stare at the landscape infront of me.

Buildings reach the sky and people line the sidewalks in a rainbow of colors. Women walk their small toy poodles and kids chase eachother around in circles, winding in and out of walking people. "The whole place looks like a picture."

"I told you it would be good for you." Peeta kisses my temple and pulls me toward a stream of people.The farther away we get from the train, the closer we get to a stage.

"What are they doing there?" I ask.

"Triton says that that is what the suprise is," Peeta slips his arm around my waist and hurries me to the front of the stage, "The real suprise."

"Well, I can't wait to see what it is." I actully feel excited. everything here really does seem to be going very good. "Maybe they'll have this whole welcoming ceremony for us." We watch them roll speakers and microphones on stage for a few minutes. They are about to hang the banner that will show me what this whole celebration will be, when Peeta pulls me, telling me that he has other things he wants me to see.

~

Peeta and I wonder the streets and gardens they have. A train moves behind the buildings every few hours sending people to other places in District 13. In one of the gardens, they have treeswith colofull blossms.

"Annie told me that they found away to grow multiple fruits on one tree." Peeta points at a small sign below a tree that reads, "Lemons and Oranges and Apples, oh my." There are also trees with just one fruit scattered, but they don't compare to the trees with over three fruits growing. Some of the fruits are still flowers while the other fruits are ripe and ready to pick.

There are factories near an open body ofwater, and houses near stores. It's until I come out of the heart of the district, when I relize that they have morphed the little things from every distrcit, 1-12, into their own. I come face to face with what has to be District 12. Vibrant people still walk the streets, but there are still dirt streets and sidewalks and dark scary mine entrances.

I find a map of the disrict in one of the shops linning the street. North of District 13 are inspired version of District 7, 9, 6, 5, and 8. South on the map are Districts 2, 10, and 4. West contains Districts 3, and 1 and in the east are District 12 and 11. In the center of it all is the Capitol. I worked my way from inspired Districts 1 through 12 in under a day without even know it.

It explains a lot now. Where the train station wasmust have been District 3, electrionics. The tall trees had to be District 7 and the many stores were, of course, District 1. One area had a lot of Peacekeepers, which had to be District 2 and the large body of water explains District 4. The many gardens had to be District 11, no doubt about it. And here, where I'm standing, is District 12.

I stare holes into the district map. They gave everyone a chance to live wherever, really. Everyone here can move from District 5 to the Capitol in less than a month if they wanted, because they put all the districts together. I think of this as someone genius. It's the perfect way to keep everyone happy in this distrcit and a way for people, like Annie, who lived in District 4 to feel at home in Distrcit 13.

Only, I don't feel at home standing in this suposed-Distrcit-twelve. I feel uneasy and like someone took part of my soul out of me and put it in hell after stabbing arrows in it over a hundred times.

"Come on." Peeta pulls me back through what I know now is suposed to be District 6. We slowly make our way to the heart of District 13, the Capitol.

Chapter 10
It looks like the ceremony stared without us. It looks like everyone from District 13 is in the crowd, pushing and shoving their way to the front to get a better veiw. I can hardly hear what the person on stage is saying from all the people surrounding me, yelling over each other up to the point where I can't make sense to what any of them are saying.

Peeta somehow found a way to snakehis way through the crowd.

"And I welcome you, Katniss and Peeta Mellark!" Effie says in her Capitol Accent. She must feel right at home.

The crowd praticly climbs over one another to either get a beter veiw of the stage or of us and our children who are now running away from Haymitch and to us.

Peeta and I grab hold of Prim and Cinna's hands while a lady comes up holding Silver. She sets her in Peeta's arms. Peeta makes Silver wave at the crowd, causing a smile to form across the crying baby's face.

The walk from the steps to the centerof the stage feels like miles. What felt like 5 years later of smiling and waving and shking peoples hands, two attendents take our children and sit at the back of the stage, along with Haymitch, Effie, and two other people--man and a woman I've never seen before.

Everything feels all too familiar. The stage, the many districts...even standing here, right next to Peeta. The crowd goes silent all at once and I see all their eyes travel to something behind us. I turn and a screen appears with the words spoken along with them, "Welcome to the 95th Annual Hunger Games!"

The crowd goes baserc with joy.