User blog:AcheronPineapple4/Pineapples, Murder, and Insanity

I shall explain the blog and the account, along with it's purposes. The account is a collaboration account by Kekai and Mist to write a blog about Kodai and his mindset throughout his life. We will begin with a reaping and have him go through the games, and then we'll have his life in luxury under the status of a victor. We will take turns, alternating each week in writing, Kekai writing one week, me writing the next. We hope you enjoy this and also hope that "Pineapples, Murder and Insanity" will become a must-see for the wiki. Enjoy!

Reaped FTW (Written by Mist)
"Yo, Kodai, get up motherfucker. Reaping day" are the first words I hear when I jump up and before my eyes, I see the sexiest creature I've ever seen; Bill Bosh the floating pineapple with sunglasses. My room always smelled like pineapples, and I always thought is was because  I must let you mind-readers know, which by the way why the hell can you suddenly read my thoughts, and how the hell am I aware of it? Anyways, pineapples are awesome, meaning that any further conversation following the word pineapple is deemed invalid. I get up and simply put on my shorts, socks and skate shoes to compliment the black tunic and white t-shirt I like wearing so much. You know how in those classic cartoons the main character always has the same clothes in his wardrobe and shit? Guess who's just like that, ME!

I push Bill away as I open the door, swinging back with it and forcefully going off balance as I do. However, I push my weight forward as I get back on my feet and I do a duck march down the hall and stairs, imitating a peacekeeper as I laugh. I'm a messy walker when I'm in a good mood, what more can I say? I stop and stare at the "System Of A Down" poster I had oh so carefully nailed to the wall (side note: he didn't) and slam my body agaonst the wall, rubbing the waxy paper with my palms as I breathe in slowly, then exhale. "C'mon, c'mon, Kodai" I hear Bill say with a mad tone in his voice, as he floats down the stairs. He reminds me of frylock from this show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", except the fucker is a pineapple of course.

I step into the kitchen in our giant-ass hut. It's right by the shore, so I feel like I'm in some sort of survival TV show. But in my world, we call those Hunger Games, and theres no huts or islands, unless that's the arena, and if that's the arena then I'll be sure to make myself at home. Fucking carriers won't take ME away when I win the games, "I'M FINE HERE, FUCKERS" will be my answer to them. Back on topic, the games involve killing, blah blah blah why the fuck am I explaining this shit to you people, and I like killing. I begin munching on canned pineapples and put some sliced pineapples in my cereal called "marshmallow mateys". They force D4 families to eat this because pirates are related to the ocean. Racists.

"Kodai, sweetie, why aren't you wearing the reaping outfit?" Oh this bitch. "WOMAN, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I WEAR THESE THREADS EVERY DAMN DAY UP IN THIS HOOD, WHY YOU GON' MAKE ME CHANGE 'EM NOW?" I reply. I sounded ghetto, I like sounding ghetto. My older sister stares at me, then shakes her head. "You're lucky I'm not old enough to volunteer or be in the games anymore, because If I was I'd kick your ass so hard in the arena" she says. "Come at me, sis" I reply, flashing my fangs at her. I lick them, but then I cut my damn tounge. I kinda regret it, but I look badass. She lunges at me when I slide under the table and ready my hands into a jabbing position, and as soon as I pop up I turn around and jab at her sides, making her fall to the ground from shock. I then tackle her and noogie that bitch, which she then responds to with a hug. "I love ya little bro" she replies. I love me too.

A few minutes later, my sister, uncle, Bill and I are walking down the sandstone road to the reapings. I'm still wearing my threads, my sister looks like a cheesy hawaiian mascot with a red flower dress and flip flops, and my uncle looks like a hillbilly trying to fit into a summer crowd. The stage comes into view when I step into line, and the peacekeeper zapper lady looks at me all funny. "Kid, you're not dressed formally for this event. We won't let you in until you are." Again, this bitch. "Oh, so if I'm poor and vulnerable for a good kill in the games that the fans will ADORE, I won't be able to have it happen because I can't look classy. Alright, win/lose situation in my favor." I tell her, and for once reverse psychology works. She looks shcoked a bit and her head jumps back a little, then she quickyl says "Oh right" and zaps me. I like the zapping, it feels tingly. The blood comes out and she puts it under my name, blah blah blah. I get my ass into line and I give my uncle and sister a thumbs up and smile as I run over to the 17 year old section. I then notice Bill floating rught beside me, his sunglasses looking better in the sunlight. Then, the escort shows up.

"Alright ya little shits welcome to the 3rd annual hunger games since the second rebellion," he says, he sounds like a smoker living in a trailer park but looks like the president of the fucking world. "I know you little cunts want to volunteer for this and shit, but the capitol's tired of your shit, seeing trained tributes fight. They want real fighters, kids who have soul or will... or whatever the fuck it is. So, this is going to be a reaping for once and not a volunteer both. Let's start with the pussies, or should I say the ladies." Hah, good one.

"Alright, so we have Sorcera Spectrus." He begins to scan over the crowd, and I can tell the fucker isn't even trying to find her. Not until some prissy cunts start cussing her out. 'UGH YOU FUCKING LUCKY LITTLE BITCH" they yell as the push her into view. "Lucky? You call being reaped LUCK?" she argues, as she looks back into the crowd that was pushing her and glares, gritting her teeth. Sweeet, she has fangs too. "Nice rack on her bro" says Bill, as he leans into me. He's right, that girl's reaping attire sure does make her stand out. She has a thin button up shirt and is wearing a laced bra. She has tiny ripped jean shorts and is wearing converse shoes. She begins to storm up the stage, and I swear to god I heard a "boing" come from her chest as she does.

"Well.. uh.. welcome to the games Miss Titmon- I mean Sorcera." Says the mentor, trying hard not to stare. Chill brah, just do what I do with public boners. Sit down. "Yeah yeah, fuck off ya perv" she replies, looking blankly into the horizon. I'd expect to hear her parents yell "no" or hear a baby cry, but nope. But on the other hand, I DO hear a kid who is about 14 react to her reaping. "SORCERA, NO!" says a kid with purple eyes and spiked red hair. He's about to go up and do something when suddenly the peackeepers pull out the chlorofome and put him out. Fail. "FAIL, KID" I yell as I watch him close his eyes, and some guys chuckle when I say that. I look back at Sorcera when I notice her staring at me all dreamy. Da fuck?

"I repeat, Kodai Hitogoroshi" says the escort. "I didn't do it" I reply, shocked. Everyone starts laughing when I start processing shit. Mentors don't call out troublemakers, they call out reaped tributes. HOLY SHIT. "Kodai, stay calm" Bill says, but I slap him away and I begin to look around frantically. I don't know what I'm looking for, a way out? What am I looking for?! I hold my head from the massive headache I'm having and I begin to yell from the pain, this is why I'm so scatterbrained. If I keep everything in place, I get headaches from trying to keep it that way. I grit my teeth as I see the peacekeepers pull out the rags and chlorofome, no.. not me. I swipe the rag from the closest peackeeper and start choking him with it, shoving part of the rag down his throat. I see his eyes bulge through the visor as I smile, when I get the butt from a gun to the back. I yelp a bit in surprise and I turn around swinging my fist as my attacker, hearing a pleasant "SNAP" as he falls down, dead. The rest of the peacekeepers charge me while the other kids and guys cheer me on, but some are calling me names. This just fuels me even more.

I run over to a watchtower where the peacekeepers are readying tranquilizers, when I use all my adrenaline to bend the bars, breaking them and tipping the watchtower towards me. I dodge and I hear about 50 peacekeepers yell (just about all of the motherfuckers) as the watchtower hits the ground. SPLAT and CRACK are the only things you hear after that, and a huge gasp follows afterwards. I calm down, and I walk over to a peacekeeper who is still alive but caught in the metal bars. "Help me.. I'm sorry.." he says. I kneel and pat him on the head, but on the final pat I grab the helmet and with a swift turn of my wrist I snap his neck. "Good boy, stay" I say to the corpse and I put my hands in my pockets, the others clearing a path for me as I walk up the stage. Sorcera has her hands in her pockets too, but I know damn well why. Hah, she wants me.

"Alright, you know me enough to guess if I'll win or not" I yell into the mic, only a few speakers emitting the words coming from my mouth since most were broken. I then hear a fun mix of claps and boos, which then turns into an argument. A brawl formed, but it's between my fans and my haters. "You've done just about enough" says the mayor as he drags me into the justice building like a 10-year old who is about to get beat. "You get 5 minutes, use them wisely since I'll make sure they're your last words to your family ever again, Kodai" he growls, as he slams the door. I hear some peacekeepers whimper a bit as I start scratching on the door, "One, two, three, four, Kodai's gonna break open the door!" I sing until I hear my uncle and sister approach. They walk in and I'm laying on the couch, my hands behind my back as I look at them. "Hey, they asked for it when I got the headache from being reaped alright?" I tell them. They just give the typical conversation and I reply the assuring words that they want to hear. I just tell my sister that if I could almost kick the town terror's ass, which is her, I can win the games.

They leave, and my sister looks back at me, giving me a sad smile like she thinks I'm gonna die. I just give her a thumbs up and grin, when I notice a peacekeeper peek into the room, which i then respond to by running towards the open door. He screams like a little bitch and slams it shut as I start laughing. He screamed, like a little bitch. Ho yeah, if I can make a trained son of a bitch scream like that, imagine what I'll do to a bunch of meatheads in the games. "You ready?" Bill says, floating past me and looking out the window. I look out as well and I notice the dumb trucks coming for the peacekeepers' bodies. "Hell yeah" I reply.

Finally, some bloody action in my life.