User blog:Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi/NEW AND IMPROVED HUNGER GAMES

katniss wakes up on the day of the reaping and she goes to the reaping place. effie calls "primrose everdeen" and katniss is like "LMAO THAT U" and prim is just like "that me -_-" and then everyones like silent so she says "i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now" but then katniss volunteers bc yolo rite. anyway the boy tribute is called peeta and he fancies her so u know whats gonna happen lol amirite. when katniss sees him she remembers when he gave her bread #THETHIRSTISREAL. anyway lol katniss and peeta and peetas mum were playing piggy in the middle with the bread but she finally got it go katniss!!!!. so gale walks into the visitation room and katniss is like "gale while im gone u have to blogsit for me i btr not lose any followers i stg"

so were skipping to training because all the stuff in the middle was boring 

katniss looks up and rue is on the ceiling with catos knife and then cato attacks some boy bc he thinks he stole it and katniss goes "SLAY HUNTY GRAB THAT WEAVE"

fast forward again to chariots

cinna walks in and hes like "ew u ugly but i can deal" so theyre talking abt peeta and katnisses outfit and shes like "were always miners" and hes like "not this year LOL" and then he brings out a big roll of saran wrap and wraps them both up and adds some sparkly flame stickers anyway so the chariots go out and the crowd sees katniss and they start screaming "YAS GAGA U LOOK SO GOOD GAGA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

interviews

caeser is like "so peeta who r u tapping rn lol" and peeta is like "katniss. 10/10 would bang" and then caeser goes "LADIES N GENTLEMEN THE THIRST IS REAL U HEARD IT HERE FIRST" and then peeta walks out into the hall and katniss screams "oh eM GEE PEETA U EMBARRASSED MEHHHHH!!!!!11!!1!one!!!1!" and knocks him out

ok start of the games now

they all run away from the cornucopia but then someones like "GUYS WHATS THE WIFI PASSWORD??????" and they all stop and scream "FORCEFIELD123" and continue on and then some ppl die but its ok because theyre minor and no one really cares about them lol. katniss hides up a tree because she hears the careers coming. theyre like "KATNISS WE KNO UR UP THERE CMON DOWN" and then they try and shoot her with arrows and stuff. eventually they give up and they set up camp. then they have an orgy and katniss is like "LOL GUIS I WUNT TO JOIN!!!" so theyre like "ya sure hun cmon down ;))))" so she goes down and they try to stab her to death but she manages to get away wow but then she sees a tracker jacker nest and she throws it at them and the super dumb one called glimmer gets left behind and shes like "GUYS IM SO FEELING SO LIKE ATTACKED RIGHT N-" and then she dies lmao

when she meets rue

katniss walks for ages but shes kinda trippin because of the stings and then she sees like big massive bushy hair poking out from a tree and shes like "lol rue ik ur there". rue steps out and is like "DONT BE FUKIN RUDE" but she sees her stings and then like chews up leaves and puts them on her face and katniss is like "ur so nasty wtf rue". anyway theyre eating and rue is like "lol katniss u gonna eat that" and katniss is like "nah man" but she was she just dont wanna be rude u know. anyway they fall asleep and then they wake up and rue is like "OMG KATNISS I GOT MY PERIOD WAT DO?!??!??!?!?!??!11!!?!?!!1!" but it turns out she just got stabbed in the vag lol.

when rue dies (SPOILER LEL)

marvel stabs rue in the stomach with his spear and then katniss kills him but before rue dies shes like "katniss sing to me pls" anyway katniss begins to sing and shes like "Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?  You can ride my face until you dripping cam.  Can you lick the tip then throat the duck or nah?  Can you let me stretch that poossy out or nah?  I'm not the type to call you back tomorrow,  But the way you wrappin 'round me is a prob,  Ain't nobody tryna save ya  Baby, get that paper,  Probably got a lot of other butches owe you favors,  Poossy so good, I had to save that shit for later,  Took her to the kitchen, fooked her right there on the table  She repping XO to the death, I'm tryna make these butches sweat,  I'm tryna keep that poossy wet, I'm tryna fook her and her friends. and then rue dies lol

the rest sucks so were skipping to the end of the games 

all the dogs are coming after them so they climb up the cornucopia and cato is like "Go on, shoot. And we both go down, and you win. Go on. I'm dead, anyway! I always was, right? I didn't know that until now. Isn't that what they want, huh? No! I can still do this. I can still do this. One more kill. It's the only thing I know how to do. Bring pride to my district. Not that it matters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and katniss is like "LOL BROSKI U NEEDA TONE DOWN N TAKE A CHILL PILL" and then she shoots him and peeta and him die lol. then she falls off the cornucopia and dies too what an idiot amirite